What is My Cellphone Use Teaching my Kids?

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We all know that kids can be overly attached to their phones.  I've heard many, many, parents with a teenager who has a cellphone complained about how they are always on their phone.  So what can you do about it? 

I want to start this off with one simple question that made me really stop and think...

Am I the master of, not the servant to my phone?

I recently read the article "Do You Need to ‘De-Vice’ Your Parenting? Here Are 5 Ways to Get Started" by Tim Rarick from FamilyToday.com. In it, he stresses the need for parents to "put on the metaphorical oxygen masks first before they put them on their children," in regards to cellphone use.  As I've talked about in my last two posts, kids often learn their behaviors from their parents.  This also applies to their cellphone use.  

So the question to you and to me is: What is my cellphone use teaching my kids?

We've all done things we reprimand our kids for.  Hushed our kids when we are on a call. Used a phone to pacify boredom.  Scrolled through Facebook or youtube mindlessly.  Played a game just to zone out and destress for a little bit.  Are these things innately bad?  Not always, however, we need to be mindful of how our individual cellphone use is affecting our ability to parent.  How it is affecting our well-being and how it affects our other relationships. 

 

In the article Rarick asks each parent to ask themselves 5 questions and to answer them honestly:

    1. How often do you use your phone to deal with feelings of stress, boredom, or inadequacy? In other words, how often do you "phone-medicate"?

    2. Do you know how often you look at your phone and is it intentional? In other words, do you personally screen your screen time?"

    3. Do you find being with your children less interesting and exciting than checking Facebook and seeing that red notification indicator? In other words, are you disconnecting from family for artificial connection?

    4. Are people always put before machines at family dinner? In other words, did you know what your kids really want and need at dinner is your attention?

    5. Have you ever noticed your parenting skills decrease as your phone usage increases? In other words, did you know your parenting will be more inconsistent and slapdash the more you use your phone?

Now the key is to answer these honestly. Are there areas you need to work on?  I know I can answer yes to some of these. I also know I'm good at not doing other things on this list.  The truth is that we all are a work in progress, and this cellphone use is part of our daily lives. 

The key is being the Master of your phone and not letting it rule over you.  You can do this with simple things like choosing to not look at your cell phone immediately when you wake up, instead, go to the bathroom, wash your face, do an exercise, or make your bed. Do something before you pull out your phone. 

Set limits for your cellphone use

Set cell phone-free times. Like at dinner, while watching a movie, 1 hour before bed.  These are rules we often set for our kids because we find value in them.  Why not for ourselves? 

Be Mindful

Learn to recognize when you are using your cellphone as a way to handle another emotion.  Are you bored, maybe instead of playing a game on your phone you can play one as a family or with one of your kids?  Are you stressed? Try going for a walk. The point is to find other more healthy ways to deal with those emotions. 

Be Patient

Understand that it is going to take time. Be patient with yourself, but stay consistent as you work on setting boundaries and using your cellphone mindfully with intent. As you set and display healthy boundaries with your cellphone use, your kids will learn from your example.  Your relationship with them will improve and you will find more ways to interact with them because you will be more actively looking for them.

  

A cellphone is a tool, a very good tool we don't know how we lived without, but one that should not rule or dictate what we do and when we do it.  As we come to understand how we use our phones we will be able to set proper boundaries and become masters of our cellphones and build healthier family habits. 

References:

 Rarick, Tim. (2016) Do you Need to De-vice your Parenting? Here are 5 ways to get started. https://www.familytoday.com/family/do-you-need-to-de-vice-your-parenting-here-are-5-ways-to-get-started/

Are we teaching our kids to be Self Reliant?

I think as parents we want our kids to learn to do things correctly and act a certain way, but we aren't always willing to let them fail in order to do it.  We as parents have to go through that progression (perhaps that's why we don't want them to have to),  why wouldn't we realize our children have to do the same thing.  

As a mom I want my kids to be self-reliant. I want them to be able to do things on their own, be confident and be able to figure things out for themselves. But am I parenting in a way that promotes that?  Am I letting them become who they can be or am I stopping their progression by trying to get them to do it my way?  

Parable of the Mop

Example:

 I wanted my kids to start helping with the household chores so, we started having them help with different tasks like sweeping, mopping, doing the dishes, and vacuuming. In the teaching stage, I showed them how to use the tools for cleaning properly.  Then, told them they were now in charge of their area and that job.  I went about doing other chores and when I came back, well the job wasn't done how I would have liked it.  Instead of being like this father and thanking them for the work they had done and letting them own their job, I proceeded to say, disappointedly I might add, that they weren't done and pointed out all the things they had missed and then cleaned the floor over myself.

My wise husband pulled me aside and helped me realize that that wasn't helping, and if I wanted them to learn how to do the chores they needed to learn for themselves.  After that, I tried to let them do it on their own. When they learned how to clean their bathroom, it was much more like the video of the boy and the lawn. I gave them full ownership. I cleaned it once with them so they understood what needed to be done answered any questions and then handed it over.  (It's easier for me because I don't use that bathroom, so it might be cheating a little, but baby steps right)

The first while it was good. They did a good job when Saturday came around working together to get their bathroom clean. Then after a few months, things started to slip.  I knew things weren't getting done that should have been, but I let it go. I did remind them every Saturday that they needed to clean their bathroom, but I didn't check it, nothing.  Then came the day that Grandma and Grandad were coming.  The kid's bathroom is also the guest bathroom that my parents use when they stay with us.  The kids were so excited to have their grandparents coming to stay. As we were getting ready for them to arrive I reminded the kids that Grandma and Grandpa would be using their bathroom. 

Both got kind of quiet and looked at each other with that "oh crap" face.  I asked them if they needed to go get the bathroom ready and they again looked like deer in headlights.  Then I smiled and asked if they would like my help.  The relief showed on their faces. I knew they understood they hadn't done the job they were charged with, but they also understood that I was still willing to help them.  We quickly got to work, my eyes may have had that deer in headlights look a few times while we cleaned, but the lesson it taught them was well worth it.  I don't worry about their bathroom anymore, that doesn't mean it always stays clean either, however they understand and take ownership of that part of their duty.  They take pride in their work and understand that it's not always going to be easy or fun but that it is their job to make sure it is good.  

Teaching our kids how to correctly deal with failure and to understand that failing is just a step in the progression is a lifelong lesson that helps them have a positive mindset and outlook on life.  Kids who learn to deal with and overcome failure are strong and creative. They know that though they might not do it right today they can figure out how to do it right tomorrow. That is what I want for my kids, the courage to overcome any obstacle they face and to know that I am there to help them if they need it. 

References:

Stephen Covey. (2017) The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People GREEN AND CLEAN, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8MylQ_VPUI&t=9s

Overcoming King Triton Syndrome

 

(Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.)

In the last year, my oldest became a teenager. And let me tell you, I have been wishing there was a manual to guide me through it.  Mood swings that come with puberty, the changes in attitude, being interested in relationships, and understanding his body.   It has been confusing, frustrating, wonderful, incredible, and incredibly hard at times.  

Our most frustrating challenge has been getting him to do his homework.  I don't know how many talks we've had about effort.  We've tried everything, incentives, taking away electronics, folders.... everything we could think of. He gets good grades and is a good student he just doesn't seem to care about turning in or checking his homework.  At the end of each week, we have had many not-so-happy chats about what assignments he's missing and why? 

A few months ago we sat down with him and admitted we didn't know what else to do. We asked him what he thought and... nothing. He didn't know either. I think at this point we were all wishing there was a manual that could tell us what to do.  

Back to School

So when I saw a class on parenting skills as an option for an elective I decided this was an answer to my prayers. What I didn't realize then was how much I was going to change and how much my son's reactions had to do with both my husband and I.  over this and the next 2 blog posts I'm going to share with you some of the lessons that really gave me insight I had been needing starting with the Parenting Pyramid. 

The Parenting Pyramid

This is a principle taught by The Arbringer Company.  On the first page of the reading, it states, "Parents weren't meant to spend most of their time correcting their children." (Airbringer 1)This sounded like music to my ears.  I didn't want to always be correcting my son. That was the whole point. I'm tired, I want him to care about his homework, and I don't want to have to keep going over and over the same thing every week.  

(Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.)

Then, as I read the next part of the quote a light turned on. "How do we help things go right, instead of react when things go wrong?" (Airbringer 1)

This was talking to me.  I was reacting to things going wrong. I wasn't helping things go right.  I was going about this in the wrong way. Of course, I would keep getting the same result.  I wasn't fixing the problem only reacting to the outcome.  And the truth is I couldn't fix the problem, that was something only he could do. I had to realize that my job wasn't to make him turn in his homework by sheer force because it was something I wanted him to do. Nope, that was clearly not working.  I needed to quit asking what I should do and instead figure out how I can help things go right.  

King Triton Syndrom

https://www.flickr.com/photos/ddindy/17047645158

As a parent, we all come to the time when we realize that our kids have to live their own lives. As I type that I can hear Sebastian from the little mermaid saying "It's like I always say, children, gotta be free to lead their own lives."  

(Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.)

That look from King Triton takes on a whole different meaning now.  But that story illustrates this principle.  Our kid's priorities aren't always our priorities.  We have to learn to develop a relationship where we can help them understand why the priorities we see and value are of value to them as well. And if we don't develop a relationship of trust and understanding with them they will find others who sympathize with their feelings.  If we blow up and just demand they do what we want, like King Triton when he blows up Ariel's treasure cave then we put both our relationship with them and their well-being at risk.  

(Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.)

So how do we help things go right?

The first step in helping things go right is to change your way of thinking. Instead of asking What do I do when my kids don't..... you have to learn to ask How do I help/teach my kids...

 What questions boil down to what do we do when things go wrong.  How questions help us find out how to solve them.  How puts us in action, where what just focuses us on what we should do because things have already gone wrong.  It's like looking at the cup as half empty or half full.  To help us understand how to help things go right we need to understand the Parenting Pyramid. 

THE PARENTING PYRAMID

The Parenting Pyramid illustrates how each of our relationships build on each other and that only with a solid foundation do we see, understand, and learn how to teach and correct our children.  Each level builds on the one before it and the way to solve a question from one is generally answered in the levels below it. So here it is.

5 Basic Principles of the Parenting Pyramid

 The 5 basic principles you need to understand are these:

1. Although correction is part of parenting, it is the smallest part.  Instead of wasting time figuring out what to do to correct an action, figure out how to correct the action.
2.  Effective correction comes from effective teaching. When we apply effective teaching and help our kids understand the "Why" of what we are teaching them, correction is much easier. Correction is dependent on teaching with love. 
3. To effectively teach our children we need to develop a good relationship or learning with our children. Built on trust, compassion, and love.  Who is willing to listen to a teacher they don't like no matter how good the lesson is?  This also affects how we talk to our children. When they can know and feel that we love them as we are correcting and teaching them it makes all the difference. 
4. To build a good parent-child relationship we need to have a good husband/wife relationship. One where we understand each other and are on the same page. We don't contradict each other but are united. 
5. The key to building a good husband/wife relationship is to understand our way of being. Who we are, how we think, what we want, or what our motivation is and why.  Our way of affecting all other relationships in our lives.  

So starting from the base and moving up. If we are ok with who we are and how we feel about it, our relationship with our spouse will suffer.  If our relationship with our spouse sufferers our children are going to pick up on that and our parent/child relationship will suffer.  If our relationship with our children suffers then it will be harder to teach them. And finally, if we have a hard time teaching them or don't teach them, then correcting those actions will be even harder, if not impossible.  

https://www.flickr.com/photos/auntie_rain/3311781249

Back to the little mermaid comparison.  At the end of the movie, Triton came to the realization that he needed to figure out how to help his daughter. He said, "What have I done." At the end of the movie instead of trying to figure out what to do about what she had chosen, he supported her, he loved her, he did what he could and he showed her that he cared for her and trusted her.  As he did this,  she was able to save not only herself but also him. She defeated Ursula, saved Eric, freed the other merpeople, got married, and lived happily ever after.  Why,  because she loved him, he loved her and they both knew it, she trusted he knew what was best and realized she had made a mistake and took the steps to fix it.  The love and lesson gave her the strength and drive to overcome.  

(Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.)

What do we learn?

When we have an issue with the actions of our children we need to stop trying to figure out what we can do and instead figure out how we can help the situation change in the future.  It comes down to how we approach it. We have to build our family relationships with love so that we can teach our children and help them realize on their own, why certain decisions they make might need to be reevaluated and/or changed. So they can make the change themselves because we cannot do it for them.  By doing this we strengthen our bond with them and build a more positive home environment and gain self-reliant children. 

If you'd like to read the whole of The Airbringer Company's The Parent Pyramid you can click the link below:

The Parenting Pyramid

References: 

Clements, R., & Musker, J. (1989). The Little Mermaid. Buena Vista Pictures.

The Airbringer Company (1998). THE PARENTING PYRAMID - Brigham Young University–Idaho. Accessed May 26, 2022

Why Men Shouldn't want Sex EVERY Night

I recently read an article where a woman suggested for women to have sex with their husbands every night.  And while I agree with some of the premise behind what she had to say I disagree with her approach. 

This woman suggests that in we need to be more like our sixteen year old selves, more appreciative for having our sexual partner ready and willing and right next to us.  She suggests that the excuses of being tired, not feeling sexy or feeling a need for a husband to prove their love before you enjoy sex with them to be just that excuses and even the reasons we should be having sex with them every night.  In her article she suggests in order for a woman to feel better about herself the best remedy is sex with her husband.  She then goes one to list 5 reasons why having sex with your husband EVERY night is the best thing for everyone.

 This list includes:

 1. Regaining your femininity by letting your husband remind you that you are a woman. The short version of this is basically after the kids are put away it’s important to remember you’re not just a mom, caregiver, etc., you are a woman.

 2. If you want a man treat him like a mine. She says men have three basic needs to be happy; food, appreciation, and you guessed it sex. Here she suggests that we say thank him when he gets home from work, make him dinner and let him see you naked.  She claims that if you do this you will “be astounded by what a man will do for a woman that has made him feel loved.”

3. She suggests that having sex every night gives you a chance to find that boy you fell in love with.  That it gives you a chance to feel all the excitement you felt when you first met.  She says “He is still there. Under the years and bills and worries, that smiling boy is still in love with and needs his smiling girl.”

4.  Sex relieves stress.  So instead of getting mad and smashing mailboxes have sex it’s a much better option.

5.  It is fun! She suggests we should not be so quick to refuse sex and just enjoy it.  “Tell a girl to have sex every night and she looks at you like you are crazy, An orgasm? Every night? What do I look like? A Nymphomaniacal Super Woman?”

Again while I don’t completely disagree with what she has to say I think her method of developing these relationships should lie somewhere other than just the physical.  I’m a stay at home mother of two and like every other woman have self esteem issues with my new womanly body that is just not the same as my former girlish figure.   And while sex does sometimes make me forget about that for the moment the issue is still there and is something I have deal with and learn how to appreciate for myself. It is not something that sex will magically fix.  I know that my husband finds me desirable and I love that he does.  It makes me feel great, special and loved; but saying that sex EVERY night is going to magically make my marriage better is just plain ridiculous.  And here is why.

1.       

     1.Regaining your femininity cannot and should not just happen in the bedroom.  Loving partners don’t just show their love in the bedroom with sex.  I bet you didn't marry your husband because he was great in the sac.  There were other reasons. I bet it was because he could make you laugh, you share common interests and views, you could and can sit and talk to him for hours, and you knew that he loved respected you. Not just your body.  Why does remembering your femininity need to happen every night in the bedroom?  My husband makes me feel feminine with compliments and kisses, and even come hither glances throughout the week among other things.  And that is important to me and my family dynamic.  It’s important to me that my children see that we love each other and enjoy spending time together. It shows them that real love isn't just about the physical, and shows the partnership that a marriage truly is.

    2. Treat your man like a man and part of that is not using sex to your advantage.  To me when she says you will be “astounded by what a man will do for a woman that makes him feel loved,” it sounds like a bargaining tool.  Give him some sex and then he’ll work on something that you've wanted him to do for awhile.  Well just as men want us to want to have sex, I think I can safely say that we want them to want to help with projects and doing things with the kids going on activities as a family.  If they don’t want to do it, it just isn't the same. Just as I’m sure it’s not the same for them when they know we don’t really want to have sex.  

3.       

    3. I think it is important to remember what made you fall in love with each other in the first place.  I think it’s great to take some time every day that is just for the two of you, but I don’t think that that equates to sex EVERY night.  Some nights it is not just you who is tired your husband can be too, and sometimes it is nice to connect through your thoughts and feelings, or with massage or by playing a game together.  The important thing is that you’re taking some time for each other and communicating your emotions not just being physical to be physical.  Not to say that that isn’t part of it but it is not the ONLY part.

4.       

    4. As for sex relieving stress, well chemically yes it does. But that doesn’t mean that you should be using it as your stress reliever all the time.  Sex can be just like a drug to some and if sex=your stress relief you may have and addiction.  While I don’t think that there is any problem with blowing off some steam with your partner I don’t think it is healthy for anyone to avoid getting to the bottom of any emotion or feeling by using something else as a stimulant. 

    5. And yes sex is and can be fun, but her premise of a woman having an orgasm every night is just unrealistic.  Women are different than men.  A man is pretty much guaranteed an orgasm with every sexual encounter.  Sex feels good and that’s why they don’t understand why women sometimes just don’t want to.  Well here is a little insight from this woman.  While I know none of us are the same I can attest to the fact that a woman’s indoor plumbing is a lot more complex than a man’s outdoor.  A man does two basic things with his; he urinates and he has sex.  A woman urinates, has sex, builds a habitat for life every month (which by the way messes with her emotions and is sometimes accompanied by unimaginable pain with cramps, even if they are on forms of birth control that cause them to not have a period.), we house and grow children, and then deliver those babies from that area.  Not to mention due to the pressures of unrealistic views on women in our society many go to great lengths to make this area look desirable to you with their grooming habits.  And yes I know the point of looking desirable to you makes you equate that to sex, but that still doesn’t mean we want the EVERY night expectation.  Not every movement during sex feels great for us.  And some women can’t orgasm at all just by penetration.  Not to mention needing some cool down time.  Honestly after an entire day where you have had children or anyone for that matter requiring your undivided attention, and after hearing your name a thousand times during the day you need a cool down period.  She says in the article to give him some appreciation and a little cool down period.  Well we as women and mothers need that time too.  Just a little time for ourselves without anyone needing something from us.  Just a few minutes to ourselves without any expectations and without feeling guilty about it. 

All in all Sex is an outward expression of an inward emotion and that is what makes it special.  If you loved steak and I cooked it for you every day you wouldn't like it so much after a while and even grow to resent it.  It’s the same with anything.  Even if you love sex if you had it every night even if/when you didn't want to, it would lose all meaning.  That special and fun time that it can be would become a chore.  As women we don’t mind taking one for the team now and then because we know that you might need it and we want to make you happy but if you expect us to dish it out every night you are dreaming.  We like to keep you guessing to keep you on your toes to surprise you sometimes. If you knew you were going to have sex every night, guaranteed, would you want is as much? Would you enjoy it as much? Would the excitement be there all the time?  Well I would guess no married couple will ever really know the answer to that question, but my guess would be no.  Sex would become routine and unemotional.  It would become just a part of your daily routine.  After a while I would guess that you would eventually stop having sex all together because it would just be something that you got tired of. It would become another thing on the list of daily activities to check off and lose all the emotions behind it that make it special.

So gents, be happy we don’t give it to you every night.  Be happy that we can still surprise you with a sexy negligee every once and a while.  Be happy that we can still have those crazy nights of passion after the kids are in bed, because if you got it every day those excitements would be gone along with all the reasons she suggested in her article for making us want to have sex every day.  It would become monotonous and ordinary and I don’t think either side wants that.  Let your wife remain a mysterious siren when it comes to the bedroom, let her do it because she loves you and wants to not because she feels like she has to.  Remember sometimes quality is better than quantity. 

Awe the Fun of a child learning to speak

These are some fun video's of brooklyn learning to talk and her little attitude. sorry they aren't the right side up.

Kyler's 1st day of Preschool

I can't beleive that he's actually old enough for this but it was kyler's 1st day of Preschool today. We laid out his clothes last night and i asked him what he wanted for breakfast in the morning. And then he told me how much he missed preschool. Kinda odd having not gone yet at all. Anyway this morning he woke up put all his clothes on and shoes by himself and headed downstairs to see me. had is Peeled egg (boiled) like he asked for and then had to wait an hour before we could head off to school. The only thing i'm not so sure about is that i think he came home more wired than he was when he left. That could be trouble.

Seriously the best pancakes and the most Delicious Syrup

Ok so stemming from some pancakes my parents made me eat when i was like 8 i really don't like pancakes. In short my parents tried a new pancake mix which honestly tasted like cardboard and while they were making pancakes made me eat TWO of them then they both took one bite an threw them in the garbage. Yeah that's how nasty these pancakes were. So... consequently i have not really had any love for pancakes since.

That being said i actually found a homemade recipe for pancakes i like its below. they are so fluffy not huge pancakes but yummy. I can't eat more than 2 and that's on a really hungry day so filling the recipe only makes 8 but well worth it. So here it is:

Fluffy Thick Homestyle Pancakes

1 1/2 C. Flour 1 1/4 C Milk (you can substitute 1/2 water 1/2 buttermilk also)

3 1/2 tsp. baking powder 1 egg

1 tsp. salt 3 Tbsp. Butter, melted

1 Tbsp. sugar a few dashes of cinnamon

Mix dry ingredients in large bowl. Make a well and add wet ingredients mix till mostly smooth but still a little lumpy. ( Lumpy batter makes yummy pancakes). Pour about 1/4 C batter for each pancake. Brown and serve. Makes 8.

Now the coup de grace the yummy unbelievable make you want to just drink it buttermilk syrup. Again i don't really like syrup its sticky and thick and tends to coat your mouth and make it all nasty but this is airy and light and buttery just magic. So here it is.

Buttermilk Syrup

for 1 1/2 Cups

1 C Butter

1 C Sugar

1/2 C Buttermilk

1/4 tsp. Baking Soda

1 tsp. vanilla

Combine Butter, Sugar, And Buttermilk in small pan. Heat over med/high heat until sugar dissolves. Stir in soda and vanilla. Serve over everything!!! You can put this in a jar and keep it in your fridge and just warm it up in the microwave when you want it as well. Never buy syrup Again.

Radnar

Ok so most people don't like running. And i'm kinda with you. its not my favorite activity but i do enjoy it. Anyway We finished ragnar last saturday after 197 miles from Logan UT, to Park City UT. And let me Tell you It was Fabulous. So many stories so little sleep. I really wanted to die at one point but overall a wonderful experience. We already signed up for next year which is there 10 yr anniversary so hopefully even more fun. Our team Finished 167th out of almost 700 teams in our category and 200 something overall either way we were in the top 25% overall and top 20 in our categorie. I feel that gives us some bragging rights. Well not really me but our other runners. We finished with a time of 31 hr and 29 min. Kurtis' Dad who is the oldest one on our team ran Ragnar hill which is the toughest part of the course and also how the race got its name. He ran the enitre thing and finished in the top half of the runners in our category.

Kurtis ran a consistant 10 min pace. makes me so mad he can go out and do that without training. Not fair. He had his longest race first 7.6 miles and did just fine. In fact as we were talking after we got home he said that was his favorite leg and it even had a big hill in it. His second was 3 something i think and he didn't like it. But was all joyous after his last i think it was 3 something too. As we were in different vans i didn't get to see him much except at exchange 6, exchange 19 and for a little bit in the tent whe i got to go sleep for a few hrs. Then at the end. But he was willing to do it again next year so thats always a good sign. And were thinking about doing Las Vegas next year too. So we can get the Saints and Sinners Medal too.

My first run was well i think i know how hot hell is. I ran at about 2 in the afternoon and even though it was only 3.4 miles i thought my feet were going to burn off at one point. i also took off way to fast i started at probably a 8 1/2 min pace when i reached a 2.4 i was at about a 9 1/2 pace and then i died my last mile. It also had 2 hills in it i wasn't really expecting and Lucky me as soon as janet came around the corner to give me the slap bracelet i had to pee so i ran the whole thing needing to pee.

My next run was by far my Favorite. it was 7.1 mostly down hill at night. And way up in the hills so you could see the starts. it was wonderful there were a few times that i was out of site of anyone in front of me and icouldn't see the lights from anyone behind me and it was beautiful it kinda reminded me of home in the summer. The only part i didn't like of this run was when i got down my 6 mile hill and had to cross the road at a quarter to midnight the lady taking care of this part told me to hurry up and get across the road. There was nooooo one comeing and i was the one running this so. lol. anyway i didn't even mind the hill at the end although i did have to walk over part of the over pass cuz well i got scared when i should feel and see the cars going under me. Other than that it was amazing.

My last leg was Horrible. Little Sleep was fine being tire was ok, but i had gotten a stitch in my side(side ache) after my last leg and figured it would go away but well it never did. So about a mile into my 5.4 mile run i was having a hard time getting a deep breath. Kevin (kurtis' brother) Gave me some tips on how to make it go away but it only eased slightly. Thanks so much to my Van for all the support. They offered a few times to have someone finish for me but i wanted to know that i did it all myself. If i could have actually run it it would have been nicer cuz it started getting hot out again as i was running at around 10 in the morning. anyway i also had decided to wear shorts this run bad Bad BAD idea. I started to chafe around mile 2 and at around mile 4 i started to get a blister on my foot. Oh and in this race they have these very very deceiving 1 mile to go markers i really think they need to put them at a half a mile in cuz it make one mile seem like FOREVER. anyway at my last one i went about 150 ft and then had to climb a hill. The good thing was my side ache started to ease up bad news i was already mentally and physically dead by this point. i just kept looking at the people in front to me for where the exchange was. Thanks to whoever you are that passed me and gave me a high five you made me pick it up and keep going. At the final exchange i sprinted as best i could and then pretty much collapsed. I ended up hyper ventalating cuz i couldn't breath and that scared me so i tried harder and ended up crying anyway thanks to Janet and my team for calming me down and helping me throught that run.

So here's to getting in better shape for next year so it will all be a breeze. Oh and i still have my side ache. I went to the dr a few days ago and he said i either developed a kidney stone or i pulled the mucsle in my diaphram so it will be a while before it gets better. But Bring it on Ragnar!!!

Baby Shower Gift for Girl

Ok so i like to bring something to a shower that most people don't think of but since i've learned how to sew i've just gone to bringing something unique. So here is what i'm planning on bringing to a shower i'm invited to next saturday.

You can get the shoe pattern and instructions for FREE!!! at http://www.fleetingthing.com/handmade/baby-gifts/the-mila-baby-shoe-tutorial/&2_10_12

You'll have to pay for the dress pattern its called a Lucy Pinafore on etsy and the bloomers also are on etsy called little miss sassy pants.

But all relatively easy to do i made the hole outfit and shoes in one afternoon. and that included cutting everything out.

a little about a whole lot.

Ok So honestly there is a ton i should have been blogging but well i really haven't had the time for so here is the sum up.

Kyler Turned 4 oh my goodness on the 31st of may. We went to the aquarium just he, brooklyn and i for his birthday then got lunch at mc Donalds and came home for quick nap before his party with the family. He got some new books some clothes, swim noodles, a game, squirt guns and nerf guns, a sprinkler ball, little letters lap top(thats not the offical name of it) and a bike. In other words a ton of stuff. I made cupcakes in ice cream cones topped with Sea Turtles and Frogs made out of candy and his main cake was a big fish topped with all the candy i had left. Which i didn't get any pics of cuz i handed the camera to dad to take some and well he didn't. All in all was a great day. And since we decided to get season passes to the aquarium we're going to go again next week when Grandma from MOntana is here before ragnar. Kyler at his dr app. was 40 inches tall and weighed 35 lbs. he's finally reached the middle ground on the size spectrum. I would still guess he has a big noggin but since they don't measure that anymore we don't know

Brooklyn is walking and well being a menace. I know i thought kyler was busy and i know i keep saying but it truely supprises me how busy she really is. And she is a lot more ....whiny? than kyler was. Anyway she's doing good. at her 1 yr appointment she weighed 19lbs 5 oz and was 30inces tall. and her head is in the 93% range. She's tall and skinny with a big head they say.


Kurtis and i have been kinda busy. a few saturday's ago kurtis put his foot through the ceiling upstairs on his way out of the attic. I was outside and i came in the door to see his foot hanging from the ceiling. he's fine but we had a BIG mess to clean up. We happened to have the newspaper insulation and the fan was on so it went EVERYWHERE. We got it all cleaned up and taken care of though. We still need to puddy and paint it though. Kurtis keeps telling me its the new style. And i just laugh.

Mom came and visited us for a day that night she got in well really early the next morning and we got to spend sunday with her. She left that monday but she'll be back next wednesday morning early to watch the kids for ragnar.

Then we got served a law suit from a car accident kurtis was in 4 years ago. needless to say this has been on our minds ever since. She's suing for at least 10,300 for medical expenses. She says she had back pain and numbness. but here's the thing the accident was at 10mph at most and she was 40 at the time. Anyway where working with someone now about this and they say it could take up to a year before we're done. yay for us.

Memorial day was good we ran the woods cross 5k. and then played games at kurtis' parents house. you really need to play chair soccer(football) for my brother in law. unfortunatly unknown to me my dad spent some time in the hospital for amnesia. They don't know what causes it or why it happens (isn't that the same thing) but they have a name for it. Anway he's fine now just a little scary.

Oh by the way i was put in to the primary presidency right before all this happned. I just did my first sharing time last sunday and we have stake visits this wednesday. I was trying to get to the stake temple day tonight but we had to talk with the attorney + kurtis is on call+ i couldn't find anyone to watch the kids so i didn't make it. It might have been a nice break to not think about anything so i'm kinda sorry i missed it. anyway

Thursday we're going camping so i'm trying to get everything done before tomorrow night. The kids and i slept out in the tent last night till midnight that is. I acutally think they'll do fine camping. I was a little worried about brooklyn but she went to sleep fairly well. I ended up taking them inside cuz it was so stinking windy that i wasn't going to get to sleep unless i went outside. So when brooklyn kinda cried and stirred i grabed her and took her in then woke up kyler and put him in bed.

Then next weekend we have ragnar. Kurtis and i ran 5 miles together with the kids on saturday. He did another 2.5 that night i was going to but i'm pretty sure i have a pinched nerve thats making my left side go numb(just the hip and down) and sting/ache all the time so i'm going to the chiropracter hopefully next week before ragnar or i might die.

Oh and sunday kyler dropped my phone in the diaperbag off my inlaws deck about 25ft and it stopped working. I ended up getting a new battery yesterday and for the most part it works now but i still ahve to be really carful with it now. And my great Aunt Berdella lost her battle with Cancer last night.

after next weekend i think i'm just going to hide for a week and relax hopefully nothing else happens in that time.

DIY Camping high chair

OK So we are going camping next week and well brooklyn is kinda a handfull we don't want to take our big bulky highchar but i don't want to have to try to hold her and eat and worry about her getting down and into the fire so i saw the above camp high chair on pintrest and had to go find it out on the net. So anyway it cost 68.00. And well i wouldn't use it enough to make it worth that. So i figured i could make it on my own. I happened to have some duck canvas laying around my house i would guess this take about 1/2 yrd. If i were doing it again and buying fabric for it i would use the outdoor fabric so you don't have to worry about it getting wet and molding. 2nd you need a camp chair with arms and mine had a cup holder but thats up to you.

1. Pin the fabric tightly to the outter side of the arms of the chair, and pin about 1/2inch under on the front. (tip: If you pin the corners first it works better. You may also have to go back and tighten after you first pin.) I left about a 2 1/2 - 3 inch flap for underneath on the arms. Leave a little extra like 5 inches in the corners so you can make a flap to tug snug around the metal of the chair. cut excess

2. Make your marks of where the cup holder and where you want your opening for the kids to sit in to be. When you make the cup mark you want to be about 1/4- 1/2 inch in from the circle so if you take your pencil and put the last bit of wood thats bare from where it has been sharpened at the edge of the up holder that you can feel and make your circle from there you should be about right on. I just eye balled my see hole. I traced along the inside of the arm till i felt it would be a big enough opening and then made a semi-circle around to the other side. (tip: as i'm lazy and don't like to cut more than i have to i cut it back enought that the material touched the seat where your bum goes so you can just cut your leg holes out of that.)

3. cut your marks. Again i didin't cut my semi circle all the way out. I just cut right to where it started to curl in on both sides and left the material to dangle to the seat so i didn't have to cut another piece for the leg holes.

4. ( if you cut your flap completely off you'll need to cut another piece of fabric that goes from your opening (above) to the seat of the chair) Pin the flap to the seat and mark leg holes.

5. cut leg holes.

6. Un-pin from arms but re-pin fold.

7. I used a surger cuz hey i have one and it makes it a whole lot easier but if you don't have one you can use a zig zag stitch on your sewing machine and sew around your edges. Make sure the make the pockets in the front corners to catch in the arms. Then repin back to chair.

8. Now comes the tricky part you'll want to take the material off the chair the best you can. I Wasn't able to take the original material completly off so i made due the best i could.

9. Sew your highchair material to your existing chair and whala your own camp high chair for around $10.

Brooklyn's Turning One

So i saw some cute idea's on how to do some invites for brooklyn's bday and so i decided to make her a little outfit and take some 1yr old pics. So here they are.

 I like this one cuz it looks like she's saying she's 1

 This is her little cheerleader pose that she sits in alllll the time

  And here is her birthday invite i decided to go with.